Heal the World - Oktoberfest style

We had one day in Munich before the end of Oktoberfest. We were in a very festive mood. We woke up at 2pm – exhausted from our various trips. One of our close friends from Nairobi arrived shortly after – she would be joining us for the second part of the trip. Her pseudonym will be “The Lady.” “The Safety Net cooked up a storm. We ate to our heart’s content and went out clubbing later to Pimpernel – We had a lovely time and got home quite late.

In the morning we woke up excited about the last day of Oktoberfest. I went with The Lady to the festival around 4pm. There we met up with 2 of my lovely college friends who had come in from Switzerland to join us for the festivities. It was one of those nights that is difficult to explain if one wasn’t there. Key highlights of the night for me included:

·        Me having a mini-meltdown and yelling at my friends when I started feeling frustrated – like I had to be responsible for everything given I was the organizer of the trip. “I am not your mother! People need to start being responsible for themselves – you can’t expect me to know everything, do everything, tell you everything, have all the directions etc.” It was not pretty - especially because I was inebriated, likely slurring and repeating the same thing over and over, but we had a debrief the next day and after that I felt that people were being more responsible for themselves. I can’t really blame them though because I also know that when someone takes charge it becomes very easy to just go along with the flow and not feel the pressure to know anything/do anything for yourself. How many times have I been driven somewhere and not bothered to note the directions given someone else is doing it for me? It’s human nature.

·        Lighting candles with random strangers, singing “heal the world” and hugging people over mugfuls of beer – that closing ceremony was a very wonderful emotional experience – those moments when complete strangers are brought together by the powerful force of alcohol and pyromania and cheesy kumbaya music

·        Going out clubbing alone – determined to squeeze out the most of my time in my beloved city of Munich. Getting lost trying to get to Pimpernel, but making random friends along the way who I partied with till 6:30am

·        Getting home at 7am, packing in a state of drunkenness and us heading off to the train station – Paris bound. 

Berlin city tour

It started in the Parisian square which is in the middle of the city. The square got it's name back in the 1500s or so. The Swedes had poisoned the city's water with sewage and arsenic, and had killed off most of the population (who knew the hedonistic Swedes could be this bad:-) The rotting bodies on the streets had caused a plague that had pretty much wiped out all of  Berlin's population. The Kaiser pleaded with France to send 5000 engineers, builders etc to repopulate the city. The French did this, and that's why they got this place named after their capital. They also got a cathedral built for them. Our next stop was Brandenburg Tor which is this huge victory gate in the Parisian square. On top of the gate is a statue of the female protector of Berlin sitting on a horse-ridden chariot. She looks menacingly at the French embassy which is near the Tor. This was all intentional as Germany has had loads of beef with France in the past centuries.

After this we went to the controversial Holocaust Memorial which is in the middle of the city too, and was built in the 1990s. It has a controversial name, "Holocaust Memorial for the murdered Jews of Europe." I thought the name was appropriate though because to use any sort of euphemism to describe the Holocaust or any other genocide would be to undermine the suffering of those who died. It is also controversial because it has no names. It is just a labyrinth of different sized square rocks. Some are only a foot high while others go up to 20 feet or so. It takes around three minutes to walk from one side to the other if one chooses a straight path. I kind of thought that the monument was interesting and open to many sorts of interpretations. The main interpretation is that the small pillars represent things considered harmless. Such things include anti-semitic jokes, racist thoughts etc. Such "harmless" things eventually lead us to the largest pillars which include ethnic cleansing, torture, rape etc. My own interpretation was that the ambiguity of the monument was necessary. 'With genocides so much is unknown. Perhaps the different heights of the pillars represent the different ages of the dead. Perhaps the ambiguity mirrors the ambiguity of genocide. What  counts as genocide? This is the question the international community was pondering for a while as hundreds of thousands died in Rwanda. Darfur - is that genocide or not? Perhaps we never know until it is all over, and we can tabulate the results. This doesn't help those undergoing it though. As I walked through the monument I didn't expect to get as strongly affected as I did. The first minute I was still towering over the pillars. After this the pillars started getting higher, and I felt as if my path was getting narrower. The fact that I could not see around me or above me made me fear that I would get to the end and not be able to get out. My breathing started getting faster, my heart started pounding and my steps were faster. I was filled with fear, desperation and was feeling claustrophobic. One actually had the scary feeling of entrapment. I hurried and finally got to the end and quickly stepped into fresh air, sunlight and freedom. I was actually still shaking and taking deep breaths of air as if I had thought I would never get out. Three minutes.

After this we went to Hitler's old bunker which was now just an empty parking lot. The Government had intentionally left this place unmarked. They feared that if they made it an official site then it might be a meeting ground for neo-nazis or that Hitler would be getting the commemoration he definitely didn't deserve. The tour guide told us that in his day, Hitler used to be a sex symbol and women would faint just by touching his coat. I was really surprised because even if we momentarily ignored his personality, homeboy was not a good looking fella at all. Apparently he lived in a bomb shelter underground, and when he knew he was going to be captured- he poisoned his dog, his lover and then himself. As soon as his guards found him- they took a cigarette break. He apparently did not allow them to smoke while he lived. Their bodies were taken by the Soviets, burned and then thrown into the river so that he may never have a resting place. The fact that he would now be 120 rubbishes any rumors going around about him being spotted with 2pac and Biggie in Cuba sipping on some crystal.

After this our next stop was some old Nazi buildings which had then been taken over by the Soviets and still contained all the pro-communist propaganda. Posters of happy children and joyful peasants were all around to perpetuate the myth that communism would lead to progress. We then walked through many other parts of Berlin, and I just got more and more fascinated with the city. I had been here in 2001 and 2006, but I felt like this was the first time. Everything that could be said about Berlin, the exact opposite would be true too. There were this huge skyscrapers, but there were also this bombed out unrestored buildings. There were this huge HP and coke ads, but there were also this ancient castles, cathedrals and libraries. It felt like such a changing place. Our tour lasted 3 hours. 

Prague - Defenestrations, self-immolation and ginomous meals...

After the previous night’s madness, Sunday was going to be a relaxed day. We collectively woke up at some ungodly hour – around noon or so after having slept at 11pm on a Saturday night in Munich….lame, I know! We went to Marienplatz, the central square in Munich to run a few errands, then later on decided to “party” at an irish pub called Kennedy’s. By party I mean, we tried to party but were all so worn out and had a beer or two before going home. The next morning we were to catch two trains to Prague. We would be leaving Munich early in the morning, but getting to Prague at 6pm.

Our hostel in Prague was not that great. It was centrally located, but the room looked like something from a boarding school – or a prison – hard concrete floors, metal double decker beds. The rooms were not that clean and the receptionist seemed like a cokehead and was not useful at all.

We decided to splurge that night and go eat at an actual restaurant. We found ourselves at Old Czech restaurant and the food was a lot and quite delicious! We slept early that evening after our long trip.

The next morning we went on my favourite free tour – Sandeman’s new Europe tours. They are great free tours that take place in a few European cities and elsewhere (Tel Aviv) etc. One only pays a tip at the end of the trip based on how they valued the trip. I am always amazed by how good the guides are. I love history and such tours feed my hunger for historical information. Key highlights of the tour included learning about The Prague Uprising and the Offensive during World War II when Czech resistance tried to liberate the city of Prague from German occupation during World War II. This 3 day uprising began in the last moments of WWII but  the city was captured by Germany. One day after the Germans conquered Prague, they surrendered on the arrival of the Red Army from Russia. We also learnt about Jan Palach - a Czech student who set himself on fire in 1969 to protest against the demoralization of Czech citizens under Russian rule. This was quite relevant at the time given the recent memory of the Arab spring starting in 2010 after a Tunisian street vendor - Mohammed Bouazizi set himself on fire protesting the confiscation of his wares and the harassment and humiliation that he reported was inflicted on him council officers - his acts mirrored the frustration millions in the MENA region were facing as a result of social and political issues in the country.  I can only imagine how frustrated and desperate one must be by the time they decide to set themselves on fire for a cause. There are real heroes amongst us.

Prague and its citizens harbor a lot of guilt regarding the holocaust. Of the 120,000 Jews who lived in the city at the time of Germany’s invasion, only 40,000 survived the war with 67% of all Jews in the Czech republic being killed by the Nazis. 

We also learnt even more ancient history of the city - in particular about The Defenestrations of Prague - a time when discontent with the corruption of the Catholic church led to quite a few leaders being thrown out of windows in the 15th and 16th century. Yikes! Remind me not to piss off anyone in this city. 

A freshers guide to Oktoberfest

What is Oktoberfest? It's a pretty huge hot-mess i.e. The world's largest beer festival. Yep, a festival to celebrate German beer's awesomeness:-)

When did this tradition start? The main story given is that in 1810, Crown prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen. All the citizens of Munich were invited to the festivities at what is now known as Theresienwiese (the current grounds of Oktoberfest.) People had so much fun that this became a tradition. 

Where does it happen? While a few German cities have their own version of Oktoberfest - Munich is the original and most amazing Oktoberfest.

How long does it last and when does it start/end? It lasts at least 16 days and usually starts mid September

Do they charge to go for Oktoberfest? Nope, as long as you can fight your way into a tent you are fine. You won't really have to fight every day - only during peak days - opening days, closing days etc. 

If I can't go for the full duration, what part(s) should I go for? Definitely the first day - the opening ceremony, the crazy energy, the interesting traditions e.g. The mayor tapping the first barrel at noon and crying out "O'Zapft!"/"Oktoberfest has started" is simply something you must see. Singing old german drinking songs using the "hymn" books on the tables is also beyond amazing. If you can't make it for the opening ceremony, then at least make it for the last days of the ceremony and definitely the closing ceremony. When else would you get to light candles with a room-full of drunken people from all over the world, hold hands, hug like siblings - all the while singing Michael Jackson's "Heal the world."? When?

Why didn't the waitress give me back my change? She took the rest as a tip - you're welcome! A Maß of beer costs 9.10 Euros, but it is an unwritten rule that you just give 10 Euros. You just try and ask for change back - let me know if you manage to get served again.

How do those servers carry 13 beers at a go? Beats me. I think there must be a class or something. "How to carry 13 gigantic beer glasses at a go, through crowds of crazy, drunken staggering people and not spill a drop."

Uh, oh. I'm drunk. I think I might be drinking someone else's beer: No need to worry. Someone else is likely drinking your beer too. After 4 liters of beer the last thing you should be worrying about is catching a cold from sharing someone's glass. 

Which is the coolest tent to be in? Hands down, I have to say it is Hacker Pschorr. Lots of Bavarians go there - so it's the fun place to be with lots of young locals and not too many tourists. Not that there is anything wrong with tourists, but why would you go to Oktoberfest in Munich to hang out with Aussies and Americans. I love all my people, but while in Rome...do a Roman;-)

For all other questions refer to - http://www.oktoberfest-insider.com/oktoberfest-faq.htm

Is Oktoberfest ready for the Kenyans?

5 Kenyan girls and their ginomous backpacks arrived in Munich the evening before Oktoberfest a few years back. By the time the girls made it to their apartment in the lovely town of Starnberg - it was 10pm. They got to the apartment and their lovely and very flamboyantly gay landlord gave them the keys to his apartment and gave them a tour. It was cozy, but very well-furnished. The landlord left and the girls got excited. "Oh gosh, we are here. Tomorrow morning we will actually be at Oktoberfest?" "Feels like we should celebrate." The landlord had stocked the fridge with some beers - "well let's have one before sleeping. What time do we need to be up? 5am! What the hell? Who is at a beer festival at 6am? Ok, Ok. If you insist we won't get seats if we go later, then we may as well get some rest. "

Morning comes - a flurry of activity as 5 women struggle to shower, get dressed, do their makeup and leave the house by 6am..Success.

We took the train - I had assured everyone that we should carry a beer or two each, as it would be a while before we would get into Oktoberfest, and drinking in public in Munich is not only allowed during Oktoberfest (and most other times,) but is actually highly encouraged. These girls didn't trust me - up until we got to the train and they saw all the women in dirndls and the men in lederhosen and many groups traveling with a crate or two of beer, and happily drinking on the train....."Aaaah, so it's true? We can drink?" "Yep, what did I tell you? Welcome to my second home."

The train starts, stops, picks up more revelers, starts, stops, picks up more revelers. Soon the train is full of very many, very excited people. "Last stop! Last stop!" We all get off and follow the throngs of people walking in one direction - to the home of Oktoberfest - der Wiesn. We finally got to the Oktoberfest tents at 7;30am. Those among us who went to public boarding schools would know what is needed to finally get in when the doors begin opening - you are standing in a crowd of thousands and thousands planning to push yourself into the tents before noon - when the opening ceremony begins. You imagined I said you are standing in a line - no I didn't. I said you are standing in a crowd. There is no method to the madness - you just need to stick together, make friends - yes- make friends, but don't get too attached to them. With the next great push, you might find yourself floating above your new friends finding yourself inching closer to the door. Your new friend might elbow you  when the crowd starts pushing - nothing personal - this is rugby (ruge), this is real life, this is how any proper human behaves when there are limited resources - only a certain number of people can get into the tent - and you MUST be among that number.

Half of you make it in! Thank God. Oh, now it's time to find a table. "Excuse me, is this table taken?" [As you approach the lonesome girl with a huge empty table] When she responds "Yes it is. [yet you know it's not and she is booking it for her friends who are still stuck outside.] You politely say "Ok" as you secretly pray that her friends get stuck outside and that she drinks too much  beer, gets really really pressed and can't access the loo for an hour or so. Karma, oh karma. "Is this one taken?", "Yes, says the really rude 17 year old with the bad acne and the jacked up teeth. For him you don't wish him any future curses. He is clearly paying for karma in advance..

"Ok. I don't think we will find a table, but at least we are in.....and we can see our other people at the door. They will be in soon." "What do we do?" "We hover around a table. You can't be served if you are not on a table." "Then what?" "Then we colonize it?" "Explain....."  Ooooooh, don't mind us. We are just on the edge of this little table [village on the border of your country.] Aaaaah, your friend has gone to the loo? Let me just stand here for a while. Psssssst! Come quickly! [Lord Delamere], quick quick! The locals aren't watching. Excuse me? You are saying this is your table? [Looks around] Well I don't see your name on it? Last time I checked you [locals] didn't have any [title deeds.] Aaaaah, that's your beer that you left on the table as proof of your ownership? Interesting - right here I have a document that shows your [chief] signed over all beers [land] on this table [in this country] to me...in exchange for [some salt and guns.] Ha! Life sucks.

So that is how eventually we had our own table. Ok, we perhaps were not as cut-throat as my little tale, but we used a combination of cunning and sweetness to finally get ourselves our very own table - then the fun began....

Too many stories from that first day - you are of course bound to have lots of stories when you start drinking in a train at 6am and then spend all day till 10pm at a beer festival. Some key highlights:

• "The Safety Cord" bit some guy's shoulder [not in a fight or anything - it was all good fun] - it's all fun and games till your rabid friend gets wet
• Lots and lots of beers were drunk
• We met hundreds of people, took pics with them, sang drinking songs in german, made friends in the loos (given how much time we spent on those long lines), kissed men in dresses and promptly forgot all this
• We staggered home - don't really remember the exact circumstances, but we were all fast asleep by 11pm if not earlier - partying is a lot of work

Gulliver's Travels part 1: Leaving Munich

In the summer of 2006, I worked in Munich and hungered to see the world. I was able to get 8 days off my summer internship and decided to go to Austria (Vienna) and Italy (Rome, Pisa and Sicily). After that chaotic trip, I wrote an email to my family and friends chronicling my adventures and these are the tales I will share with you for the next few weeks. 

****

My trip cannot be described in one word so here goes a sampling of words I would use to explain it……fantastic, fabulous, amazing, out of this world, spell binding, deeply fulfilling, intense, suspense filled.

So I woke up really early on Saturday morning to catch the train to Vienna with my friend Adele. I was doing great on time. Adele and I were to meet at 9am at HauptBahnhof where we would catch our 9:28am train to Vienna . I left my house at 0810 to catch my subway that left my station (Neubiberg) at 0831 and get me to Hauptbahnhof at 0851. My train station is 15 minutes walk from my home. Yeah so great. I was doing really perfect on time. What I didn’t bank on is how difficult it is to pull a suitcase through the tiny stones that are on the forest path I have to use to get to the train station. At some point it dawned on me “oh crap, I am running out of time.” I started to run carrying my suitcase (which trust you me is not an easy task when you have packed all of your life’s belongings in the suitcase.) There I was sweating like crazy and half dragging my suitcase on cobblestones/ half carrying the bloody thing and thinking to myself “I can’t afford to miss this train because the next one leaves at 0851 and gets to Hauptbahnhof at 0921 (if it is punctual) and I would surely miss my train to Vienna. Finally I arrive at Neubiberg train station looking haggard and all. I see that my train isn’t yet there and breathe a sigh of relief. Since my luggage is heavy I take the elevator to the platform. I hop on the first elevator, and my train is still not there. Then I hop into the second and final elevator and just as the glass doors close I see my train pulling in to the station. This stupid elevator must have been the devil’s advocate for it took it’s sweet time to get me up to the platform. I finally get to the platform, run to the train and try to open the door but it is too late. It starts to leave and I watch my only chance of catching my train to Vienna slowly departing. I was so mad that I ran after it luggage and all and gave it a nice kick!!!!!Ehhh yeah I think people on the platform thought I was mad. Hmmm so now I sit on the platform feeling utterly upset, exhausted and sweaty. I text Adele and she suggests that if I don’t make it in time we should meet in Vienna . The next train to Vienna gets there at 1500 which will really suck for me since my Vienna-Venice train leaves Vienna at 2030 meaning I will have very little time in Vienna . She gives me the gate number our Vienna train is departing from. By some miracle my next train to Hauptbahnhof gets there two minutes early and I run to the gate Adele told me. I hop on the train, and it starts to leave. I notice it is written “destination Budapest , Hungary ”  and I franctically try calling Adele but my lovely cell phone is pretending not to have any reception. Finally after many attempts I get her and realize I am on the right train. Phew!!!!! My day is finally beginning to work out!!! I find Adele and we sit with some nice guys. One was Ukranian and the other Canadian. It was a nice trip and we chatted all the way. Ukranian dude telling us about growing up in Ukraine during communist times, me telling them about life in Kenya , Adele telling us about growing up in the South ( Chapel Hill , North Carolina ) and Canadian dude telling us about Canada . Pretty interesting. I think someone could get an education by just being on the train!